cleanpairofshorts

We’ve argued, disagreed, scrapped, cried and everything in between coming up with the EPL team of the year. But finally we’ve put our heads together and decisions have been made. Ladies and gentlemen, here it is. The team of the year…

David De Gea

Made 37 starts in the premier league this season, a constant final defence against marauding premier league attacks, he seems to have banished all 1st season fears of his lack of physicality and penalty area management. Some of his saves this season have been ridiculous earning countless points for his, at times struggling Manchester united side. His unorthodox play has proved not only supremely effective but also charming to match his popular off the field presence amongst football hipsters. OW

 John Terry

Already the recipient of a boat load of praise this season, John Terry is one of the few who have earned it throughout the course of the footballing year. Strong, consistent, a leader, an organiser. Every attribute you could want for a centre back. It’s a shame that so many non footballing headlines have tainted his career. Without all the ‘lad’ behaviour and racist allegations Terry could be considered one of the all time English greats. For all his qualities the sense that trouble is not far away never leaves, but in his defence (pun intended) this season it’s only his football that has warranted discussion. And for all the right reasons. With Gerrard, Drogba, and Lampard (again) all bidding farewell to the Premier League, most would have predicted a similar fate for Terry. Fringe appearances and a fading star. Unlike Gerrard, JT didn’t read that script and instead displayed his imperious best and not only cemented his future at the heart of the Chelsea back line, but once again became the best defender in the best defence in the league. RG

Laurent Koscielny

The hero of Arsenals season is not a multi million pound glamour signing, as good as they are, but the unassuming Frenchman at the heart of their defence. Notable by his absence during his brief injury spell Koscielny is key not only to Arsenal’s defence, but their success as a team this term. The ramshackle defending and goals against stat without him in the team is glaringly apparent. Orchestrating the defensive shape, adding a resilience, and offering an organiser that Arsenal have been missing in recent years, Koscienlny has blossomed and few would have predicted such an ascent. He’s not the largest or most intimidating central defender but he has more than held his own against many an imposing forward, and few centre backs have been as important to their team this year as Laurent Koscielny. RG

Ryan Bertrand

A young man who’s already experienced a Champions league final and a rainy Tuesday night in Oldham, has settled in a stylish Southampton side after his many loan spells. He’s been at home on the south coast and it’s shown in his performances this term. Pacy and direct from the left full back position he’s been as threatening going forward for the saints as he has been reliable in defence. His apprenticeship under Ashley Cole now has come to fruition and it is apparent in his play style. Under Koeman’s guidance one of the best full backs in the league can only get better. RG

Branislav Ivanovic

The most consistent Premier League defender of the last five years doesn’t immediately strike you as a natural full back. The 6′ 1″ Serb is in perma-beastmode and is just as an intimidating prospect for attackers this season as any other. Chelsea’s full backs this year have been more traditional than the modern over lapping, pacy, attacking breed we’ve come to expect. Instead focusing on a defensive solidity but that isn’t to say Ivanovic can’t play with the ball at his feet. As well as living up to the impeccable defensive standards he’s created for himself, Branislav has also contributed with goals and assists. A desirable combination. Massively underrated in the Premier League hierarchy, Ivanovic would be the first name on my Chelsea team sheet every week. RG

Hazard

The little magician ( not Paul Daniels ) as he is known has been in fine form this season. There were question marks about how José would fit him into his system but the little man has worked hard and proved his worth. He made 38 starts for Chelsea and scored 14 goals some of them being big game goals too.  He assisted his team 9 times and add his pace, skill and what seems to be great attitude, Chelsea have a world beater on there hands. MS

Sánchez

What a player!!! His season stats are very similar to Hazards, played 35, goals 16 and assists 8, so that shows the level these two are playing at. When Wenger pipped him from under Liverpool’s nose it turned out to be a massive signing. Sánchez has changed the dynamic of the Arsenal side and attracts his team mate into the game and what I like about him the most is he seems very grounded and enjoys just playing football. MS

Matic

Chelsea sold him and then José brought him back and that turned out to be a master stroke. There is no one in the league that can do the job he does. He has great energy levels and strong in the air and loves a meaty tackle, he may have picked up 10 yellow cards but that’s part and parcel of the position he plays. As Russ said Chelsea have found the natural replacement for Makélélé. MS

Fàbregas

The 28 year old seems to be at the peak of his powers. We all knew he was a class act when at Arsenal and then he became the finished product after his spell in Spain, one thing that he has improved since his return to the Premier league is he has added a bit of steel to his game. 18 assist in 34 games complimented Costa, and proved to be a devastating attacking force. MS

Harry Kane

The ‘Hurricane’ has metaphorically taken the league by storm this season, showing you don’t need to be a €40 million striker from some far away land to score 30 goals in English football. Having only been seen in the Europa league wilderness prior to this season and even early parts of the current campaign he has brushed aside more seasoned strikers (the likes of Soldardo and Adebayor) to become the figurehead of the spurs attack. He has the ability to score all sorts of goals with his 6ft2 frame, showing good feet and pace for a big man accompanied by a strong aerial presence. OW

Sergio Agüero

Has had his injury problems this season, but never seems to struggle getting back to fit and firing fitness, finished top goal scorer in the EPL this season with a 26 goal haul in a man city team that has struggled to get going in the second half of the league campaign after being on equal points with Chelsea at the start of the calendar year. He can create a goal out of nothing and is a constant nightmare for defences with his small but athletic physique, clever movement and deadly finishing. OW
  

Helllooooo and Welcome to Clean Pair of Shorts!!!! is what Russ would be saying if there was a podcast this week but due to circumstances outside of our control there isn’t, so you’re stuck with me and my scribblings. I am going to give you lucky readers my opinion on all the weekends games, a team of the week, and I might even throw in a fun fact, so let’s get started.
Saturday 16th May

Southampton 6:1 Aston Villa ( 12:45 ko )

Being a Villa fan this was not a happy affair. We were beyond poor at the back and with Mane ( check TOTW ) beating Robbie Fowlers quickest Hat-trick record that stood for 21 years, and Shane Long smashing in a 40 yard screamer, the game was over by half time. The Saints took the points and rightly so. They played with a hunger that is usually lost in the last couple of games. As for Villa, the shocked Sherwood defended his side, he said “the lads have been great since I came here” and I think he was right in doing so but no doubt an ass kicking will be dished out at some point behind closed doors.
Burnley 0:0 Stoke City

You may glance at the score and think it was a boring game but it was far from it with the young Ings testing a young Butland in the Stoke goal on serval occasions in the first period and on the hour mark Heaton saved a point blank effort from Diouf. So what I’m really saying is it was a day for the Keepers with both having decent games. This does mean Burnley will be relegated, and that being no surprise seeing they have scored 1 in their last 8 but do look in good shape to deal with the drop and also credit to Mark Hughes guiding Stoke to their highest ever points tally in the Premier League with a game to spare. 

QPR 2:1 Newcastle United

With QPR down the Toon needed a win to ease their woes and they started off well when they took the lead. It was not the most fluent goal ever with Keeper Krul smashing the ball down field to long suffering striker Emmanuel Riviere who popped up and finally did a goal, and his first away goal in 521 minutes of football. Now all Newcastle had to do was keep it tight and they could not do it. QPR were not brilliant to say the least until Austin whipped in a delicious cross for Phillips to head home at the far post and then Fer stepped up and smashed a flyer in and that was that, Newcastle now are in squeaky bum mode and need a win in their last game. 

Sunderland 0:0 Leicester City

Not much to say really other than at the start of April Leicester were bottom of the league and now the point they earned at the Stadium of ( Doom and Gloom) Light made sure they will be back playing Premiership football next year, so well done them. As for Sunderland, they need a point from two games, easy I here you cry but may I remind you those games are against Arsenal and Chelsea.

Tottenham 2:0 Hull City Tigers Cats 

Well well well, this result made sure the Villa were safe for another year (had to get that in). It might have been different if Hull could stick the ball into the net. Jelavic hit the bar and Hull made handful of half chances then Spurs took over and with goals from Chadli and a very cheeky finish from Rose all but ended Hull’s Premiership stay unless they go the Champions League chasing Man United and win. My main concern here is no goals from Harry Kane again, have we seen the best of him!!!? I hope not.
West Ham United 1:2 Everton

This game was pants until the 62nd minute when Stewart Downing opened the scoring.  That kicked the event into life, with Leon Osman equalising soon after on the 68th minute mark and then Lukaku scoring his sixth goal in six games against the Hammers in the final minute.

Liverpool 1:3 Crystal Palace 

The stage was set, we had all the build up, Steven Gerrard’s last appearance at home in a Liverpool kit in front of the Kop and like last season, Palace didn’t read the script and turned them over. Lallana scored early on with Puncheon pulling one back before half time. Palace picked up from where they left off and Zaha got a second before Murray scored at the death. Not the fitting tribute Gerrard deserves, he has been a one club man and that don’t happen much if at all these days and the result kind of mirrored his Liverpool career, “so close yet so far” but we wish him well over in the USA.
Sunday 17th May

Swansea 2:4 Man City

This game was more like it, goals against former clubs and loads of action. City went two up through Milner and Yaya then the super Swans came back to level the game and with loads of sleek football being demonstrated by both sides, the big spending City ran out the winners but not before Bony returned to the Liberty Stadium to pop a cool finish in the corner and before we all start hating him he didn’t celebrate, well ok maybe a high five.

Man United 1:1 Arsenal 

With no Rooney due to injury The Red Devils started their very expensive Colombian who spent more time slipping over that touching the ball. United were impressive in the first half and suffocated Arsenal and the goal for Herrera was well worked and fully deserved. Second half all change and it was Arsenal’s turn to run United ragged and with a deflection Arsenal pulled one back. Two other points of reference are David De Gea went off injured and let’s hope that is not the last time we see him in a United shirt, we want the best players playing in the best league and he is clearly one. Falcao was subbed and gave one of those telling waves goodbye, as I said best players and all that so see you later son. One thing I can’t miss out is Phil Jones, good defending or just a massive donkey please let’s us know via Twitter, Facebook or on our web page. 
And this weeks fun fact is…

Kevin Gillespie, Dave Kitson and Andreas Johansson were all sent off without touching the ball. 
Here’s the Cleanpairofshorts Premier League Team of the Week:

  
MS