Helllooooo and Welcome to Clean Pair of Shorts!!!! is what Russ would be saying if there was a podcast this week but due to circumstances outside of our control there isn’t, so you’re stuck with me and my scribblings. I am going to give you lucky readers my opinion on all the weekends games, a team of the week, and I might even throw in a fun fact, so let’s get started.
Saturday 16th May

Southampton 6:1 Aston Villa ( 12:45 ko )

Being a Villa fan this was not a happy affair. We were beyond poor at the back and with Mane ( check TOTW ) beating Robbie Fowlers quickest Hat-trick record that stood for 21 years, and Shane Long smashing in a 40 yard screamer, the game was over by half time. The Saints took the points and rightly so. They played with a hunger that is usually lost in the last couple of games. As for Villa, the shocked Sherwood defended his side, he said “the lads have been great since I came here” and I think he was right in doing so but no doubt an ass kicking will be dished out at some point behind closed doors.
Burnley 0:0 Stoke City

You may glance at the score and think it was a boring game but it was far from it with the young Ings testing a young Butland in the Stoke goal on serval occasions in the first period and on the hour mark Heaton saved a point blank effort from Diouf. So what I’m really saying is it was a day for the Keepers with both having decent games. This does mean Burnley will be relegated, and that being no surprise seeing they have scored 1 in their last 8 but do look in good shape to deal with the drop and also credit to Mark Hughes guiding Stoke to their highest ever points tally in the Premier League with a game to spare. 

QPR 2:1 Newcastle United

With QPR down the Toon needed a win to ease their woes and they started off well when they took the lead. It was not the most fluent goal ever with Keeper Krul smashing the ball down field to long suffering striker Emmanuel Riviere who popped up and finally did a goal, and his first away goal in 521 minutes of football. Now all Newcastle had to do was keep it tight and they could not do it. QPR were not brilliant to say the least until Austin whipped in a delicious cross for Phillips to head home at the far post and then Fer stepped up and smashed a flyer in and that was that, Newcastle now are in squeaky bum mode and need a win in their last game. 

Sunderland 0:0 Leicester City

Not much to say really other than at the start of April Leicester were bottom of the league and now the point they earned at the Stadium of ( Doom and Gloom) Light made sure they will be back playing Premiership football next year, so well done them. As for Sunderland, they need a point from two games, easy I here you cry but may I remind you those games are against Arsenal and Chelsea.

Tottenham 2:0 Hull City Tigers Cats 

Well well well, this result made sure the Villa were safe for another year (had to get that in). It might have been different if Hull could stick the ball into the net. Jelavic hit the bar and Hull made handful of half chances then Spurs took over and with goals from Chadli and a very cheeky finish from Rose all but ended Hull’s Premiership stay unless they go the Champions League chasing Man United and win. My main concern here is no goals from Harry Kane again, have we seen the best of him!!!? I hope not.
West Ham United 1:2 Everton

This game was pants until the 62nd minute when Stewart Downing opened the scoring.  That kicked the event into life, with Leon Osman equalising soon after on the 68th minute mark and then Lukaku scoring his sixth goal in six games against the Hammers in the final minute.

Liverpool 1:3 Crystal Palace 

The stage was set, we had all the build up, Steven Gerrard’s last appearance at home in a Liverpool kit in front of the Kop and like last season, Palace didn’t read the script and turned them over. Lallana scored early on with Puncheon pulling one back before half time. Palace picked up from where they left off and Zaha got a second before Murray scored at the death. Not the fitting tribute Gerrard deserves, he has been a one club man and that don’t happen much if at all these days and the result kind of mirrored his Liverpool career, “so close yet so far” but we wish him well over in the USA.
Sunday 17th May

Swansea 2:4 Man City

This game was more like it, goals against former clubs and loads of action. City went two up through Milner and Yaya then the super Swans came back to level the game and with loads of sleek football being demonstrated by both sides, the big spending City ran out the winners but not before Bony returned to the Liberty Stadium to pop a cool finish in the corner and before we all start hating him he didn’t celebrate, well ok maybe a high five.

Man United 1:1 Arsenal 

With no Rooney due to injury The Red Devils started their very expensive Colombian who spent more time slipping over that touching the ball. United were impressive in the first half and suffocated Arsenal and the goal for Herrera was well worked and fully deserved. Second half all change and it was Arsenal’s turn to run United ragged and with a deflection Arsenal pulled one back. Two other points of reference are David De Gea went off injured and let’s hope that is not the last time we see him in a United shirt, we want the best players playing in the best league and he is clearly one. Falcao was subbed and gave one of those telling waves goodbye, as I said best players and all that so see you later son. One thing I can’t miss out is Phil Jones, good defending or just a massive donkey please let’s us know via Twitter, Facebook or on our web page. 
And this weeks fun fact is…

Kevin Gillespie, Dave Kitson and Andreas Johansson were all sent off without touching the ball. 
Here’s the Cleanpairofshorts Premier League Team of the Week:

  
MS