Departin’ O’Neill

Late last night Sunderland announced the sacking of ex Villa and Celtic Manager Martin O’Neill.

In Saturdays program notes the Sunderland chairman had said, “But right now, it is important for us all to be on the same side and get behind the team. Not being together will not help us to get results, so let’s stand shoulder to shoulder and give the team our full support.”

That sentiment clearly didn’t last, but cracks in Ellis Short’s and O’Neill’s relationship having been showing for a while now.

In January the two had to be physically separated after a boardroom meeting descended into chaos. Matt Houghton confessed, ‘It was all going fine, a normal meeting between the two. But when Mr Short mentioned he was looking forward to going home and watching The Phantom Menace, Martin just got the red mist. He started muttering something about Jar jar binks and ‘proper’ Storm Troopers, but when Mr Short started sniggering. Martin just flipped.
Houghton added ‘Martin stood and was screaming, ‘They should have just left it, they should have just left it. Lucas is a cunt, he’s ruined it.’ But Mr Short wasn’t having any of it shouting, ‘Get him outta here. George is my friend and a visionary. Get him outta here.’ That’s when Martin went for him.’

In February O’Neill was sent home for ‘Emotional’ reasons after he was seen sellotaping headless toy battle droids to Ellis Short’s office door.
Also, earlier this month it has been speculated O’Neill lost the dressing room, after a loss to Fulham, by making Lee Cattermole stand in two buckets of dry ice and screaming ‘I’m gonna freeze you in carbonite you useless cunt’.

On Saturday evening,after the announcement, locals reported seeing a small man in brown hooded robes harassing people at bus stops saying ‘I’m not the coach you’re looking for’, though these reports couldn’t be confirmed.

Sunderland’s Premier League status may be under threat but who ever steps in to fill O’Neills boots will certainly have a bad feeling about this.

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