Every week CPOS bring you lessons learnt from the weekends Premier League action. This week, the opening weekend:

1. The Premier League is still good.

Its back. The Bloody Premier League. We can argue whether the Premier League is the best/biggest/richest/most entertaining league in the world all day but we’ll never really know. I don’t believe there are any metrics to determine the best anything, but what we do know is that it’s the most competitive it’s been for years. Five teams with a realistic chance of winning the title, and any 3 from about 10 to face the dreaded drop. What this all means is excitement will ensue, and as Van Gaal discovered this weekend, there are no easy games in the Premier League.

2. Don’t /do let fans take free kicks.

A generic looking football fan fulfilled his dreams by taking a free kick at Upton Park. Against his own team. In the middle of the game. When he wasn’t supposed too. As comical as it was, it’s unfortunate that his effort was a little comical too. Good dip, good placement, but it was never really going to trouble Adrian who saved comfortably. Was it all really worth the impending ban from all football matches that’s inevitably heading his way? Probably yes, because it was quite funny, and it is was still better than Eriksen’s following effort.

3. Vanishing spray is fun.

Unless you‘re Santi Cazorla. The implementation of Vanishing spray has been met with universal celebration from football fans at grounds up and down the country. On each occasion cheers of ironic joy have rung around the stadium. Yet ref’s have still managed to make something very simple seem incredibly difficult struggling to deploy a standard aerosol canister. The FA needs to roll out in depth training to all match officials immediately.

4. Tony Pulis does not give a F*ck

48 hours before the big kick off and Pulis bolt’s on Palace after tensions between him and Crystal Palace owner Steve Parish came to head. Reportedly over the amount of control Pulis had over football matters at the club. Despite the pre- season work, the cushy London job, and Premier League employment big Tony thought ‘sod this for a game of soldiers’ and left poor Palace rudder less for the start of the new campaign. Credit to the Eagles for giving Arsenal a run for their money on Saturday but expect to see Pulis in charge of a bottom 4 club by January.

5. Stadiums should have roofs on.

Poor old Ashley Young. Not only has he bore the brunt of the United fans wrath, but now he has suffered the indignity of avian defecation in his mouth. On live television. Whether this was actual bird poo, or a dirty protest against Young’s selection from the fellas with the Moyes out plane from last season, remains to be seen. Either way, roofed stadia will deny any ass to mouth incidents moving forward as well as limit publicity to future aerial protests.

RG